you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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