You just made me feel so damn special
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
