haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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