butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
