Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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