Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
4 words: hood of his car
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
