I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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