Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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