It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
