Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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