And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
