So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
