Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
