curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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