i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize