I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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