just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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