i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
