I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
