Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
