I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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