I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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