just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
