we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
