I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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