u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
