so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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