I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
