yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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