I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
