It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
