and next time when you feel me up, do it right
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
