I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
