I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
