butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
