She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im holly from the hills drunk
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
