perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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