I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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