Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You ruined the universe
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
