is your mom at the bar?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
