If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
