508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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