Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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