Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
