so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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