I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
