After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
