he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
