Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
