apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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