First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
