dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
