well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize