i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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