Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
