I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
