chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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