im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
