you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
