This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
