so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
