I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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