If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
