Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
