nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
