I wannas sexs uuuuu
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
