Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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