i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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