I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
