id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize