you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
BRING THE BAGELS
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
