Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's Friday. Sex?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
