my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize