I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
