we're blogging at a bar
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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