Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
