my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
